I have a confession to make: The goal of meeting a Korean boy band (specifically multiple world record–breaking K-pop band BTS) is one of the main motivators for my writing career. I often present this truth as a joke, a lighthearted attempt at self-deprecation. Part of me is reluctant to write this piece because as we too often do to women who love things, I worry this paints me as an amateur at best and a crazy stalker at worst. I worry it will reflect poorly on my professional writing endeavors and ruin future opportunities.
Except, why doesn’t the onus of proof apply to men (usually white) who love sports, tech, film, or literally anything? Instead they are considered experts in their fields, highly sought after for their specific knowledge base and lauded for their fierce focus. How many men got into their fields so that they could meet their heroes — and perhaps, one day surpass them? They are praised as visionary, goal-oriented, and determined.
And so I make every effort not to cringe and to be proud of pursuing what I want without any apologies. I, too, am extremely goal-oriented. I, too, am singularly focused. I, too, am an expert in my chosen fields.
But first, some background.
I didn’t know being a writer was a choice
I was meant to be a writer.
Even as a child, I was always spinning stories in my mind, filling out the worlds of He-Man, She-Ra, The Dukes of Hazzard, Wonder Woman, or whatever else I was watching. I inserted myself in the narratives, seldom explaining my Asian American presence in such absurd worlds solely made up of attractive white people. When I got into boy band NKOTB, I spent a lot of time imagining how I could integrate myself into their world, despite being only a child.
I whiled away countless hours watching TV and movies, reading books, and then spent the remaining hours daydreaming, occupying my mind as I walked home from school or drifted off to sleep.
At the time, writing was not really a viable career option —…
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