On a Sunday morning, I decided to tackle A24 and Netflix’s new series “Beef” while multitasking. The dark comedy follows the aftermath of a road rage incident between a budding entrepreneur named Amy Lau, played by comedian Ali Wong, and a failing contractor, Danny Cho, played by Steven Yeun. Unlike most road rage events that are momentary and brief, Amy and Danny continue to be pulled into one another’s worlds even after the chase. Spiraling, they can’t let go of the anger expressed during the occasion and find in one another — not romance, we can’t expect anything from A24 to be traditional — a punching bag of sorts.
While the infamous road rage scene between Amy and Danny is the draw of the show, there is one scene in “Beef” that sticks with me. It’s where Amy explains that money is the main thing on her mind because she cannot even begin to bond with her child, be present in her marriage, and imagine being truly free to be herself without selling her budding plant business.
As a single Asian American mother, I, too, am driven mad every day for the same reasons — every part of me wants to be there for my child, to be this kind, loving, and always available presence in his life. Yet our material reality means that I am often telling him that “mom has to work” and “mama can’t right now.”
After conquering the mound of dishes and the sour smell of unopened Tupperware, I swept the totality of my tiny studio apartment and then got down on my hands and knees to clean up the pile of debris on the floor. Meanwhile, my child bounced on the sofa, read a book, mimicked me swiffering, and then also got on his hands and knees to help. Except it wasn’t helpful at all.
Hiding my annoyance, I picked him up and strapped him into a high chair. Because next was the toilet and that shit is not child’s play. But also, because seeing him help made me sad.
“Is this the life that my parents imagined their children having?” I thought to…
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