The usual suspects assemble for another adventure: Drax (Dave Bautista), Mantis (Pom Klementieff), Rocket (voiced by Bradley Cooper), Groot (voiced by Vin Diesel), Nebula (Karen Gillan), and Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) are hanging out in their space pirate cove within the hollowed-out skull of a dead celestial being. Everything’s been going great lately. They’ve redecorated, they’re enjoying music, and they’ve made a bunch of new friends including a telekinetic Soviet cosmonaut dog named Cosmo (voiced by Maria Bakalova). Rocket is a raccoon, Groot is a tree, Peter is human, and everyone else is some kind of alien. Yup, everything is pretty great, except Peter is still moping about his dead girlfriend, and Rocket is filled with existential angst about being an uplifted lower lifeform.
The relative peace is shattered when super-powered golden boy Adam Warlock (Will Poulter) tries to kidnap Rocket at the behest of main bad guy The High Evolutionary (Chukwudi Iwuji), who’s been running a Build-A-Bear Workshop of horrors and secretly creating an exact copy of Earth populated with suburbanite pig people and drug-dealing octopi. The kidnapping attempt leaves Rocket in a coma, so the rest of the Guardians suit up and fly off in search of a cure. Along the way, they run into Gamora (Zoe Saldaña) who is back to life again because of time-travel shenanigans. She helps them infiltrate a space station made of living flesh. These are all sentences that make sense once you watch the movie.
Josh: I enjoyed almost every minute of this. It’s not perfect, but I think it was the best of the trilogy, and the thing I liked most about it was that it was so fucking weird. I really like weird scifi, if it’s weird for a reason, which I think is a Jeff VanderMeer line. You look at any still image from this movie or you watch the preview and you think, what am I looking at? Why does this walrus have wheels? What is this giant sphincter in space? Why is Nathan Fillion…
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