As children of immigrants, many of us butt heads with our parents over cultural differences and misunderstandings. We don’t understand their immigrant narratives and experiences; they don’t understand the dichotomy between being Asian and being American. Author and personal coach Amy C. Yip addresses these tensions through personal essays in her book, “Unfinished Business: Breaking Down the Great Wall Between Adult Child and Immigrant Parents,” while equipping readers to pursue connection (or “have dates,” as she refers to it) with their parents.
“Unfinished Business” is part-memoir, part-workbook. Yip breaks the book down into eight myths that she — as a Chinese American — grew up believing, such as “My success will never be good enough for my parents,” “I must be mentally tough and never ask for help,” and “It’s better to be a boy than a girl.” She relives her memories and experiences around these myths, and then flips the narrative by asking her parents to share their thoughts around these ideas. While the essays are vulnerable and ground-breaking for Yip and her parents, Yip admits that the conversations spanned multiple attempts, some of which were derailed by heated words and painful emotions.
The result is a blueprint for reconnection. Yip provides journal prompts, tips, and questions designed to facilitate meaningful conversations, leading to a deeper understanding of the dreams, aspirations, and fears of our immigrant parents. She pushes readers to address the taboos and the unsaid, challenge preconceived notions that they’ve carried since childhood, and venture into the untold stories that have silently dictated their lives.
“While the journey may never be straightforward, the act of attempting, understanding, and delving deep can make it all worthwhile,” Yip says, underscoring the value of bridging generational gaps. Yip’s writings reflect the universal longing for validation, understanding, and connection…
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