Discover Proudly Amplifies Diverse Voices
The author’s content and opinions have not been pre-reviewed, approved, or endorsed by Discover.
Let’s face it: Dating can be a real challenge! For some, dating within their culture might be the safest bet, especially for those with traditional parents. However, for others, dating diversely allows them to branch out and meet their perfect match.
When dating apps were on the rise back in the 2010s, research found that Asian women got the most matches, whereas Asian men got the least. A more recent study conducted in 2024 found that Asian American women’s dating preferences — which historically favored white men — shifts towards men of color depending on factors such as levels of internalized racism, resistance, and empowerment. All in all, it’s clear that race plays a big role in how we connect with each other.
We talked to dating coaches about the basics of how to date people from a different race or background, prep for a first date, and build commonality while dating cross-culturally.
Why We Date Within Our Cultures
Aisen Li, a dating coach for Asian men, says that nearly all his clients date within their race because of their parents and upbringing.
“The truth is we live in America. [Unless] you live in a big city, or if you’re not in San Francisco, most of the people are not going to be Asian,” he emphasizes. “I’m in Texas, and right now, there’s a 5% Asian population. Why would I restrict myself to dating the 5% when there is another 95% that might be a better fit for me?”
Li grew up in the United States, having immigrated at the age of 9, not speaking any English. Like in many Asian families, he was not allowed to date and was focused on the traditional path of going to school, finding a job, and working hard. After graduating with an engineering degree and joining the workforce, he found that he struggled to talk to women and didn’t have the skills to overcome his introversion, leaving…
Read the full article here
