Sexless marriages, though rarely discussed openly, are more common than you might expect.
But what exactly constitutes a sexless marriage? There’s no precise definition, though some experts say it’s when a couple has sex fewer than 10 times in one year. For San Francisco-based sex therapist and relationship coach Danielle Harel, it’s any marriage in which the sex is “mostly non-existent between the couple.”
“It could be that they haven’t had sex in five years, or only have it every couple of months,” she told HuffPost.
While a lack of sex may put a strain on many relationships, is it possible for some marriages to stay intact with little to no physical intimacy? We turned to sex experts to find out.
It’s possible for a sexless marriage to survive — but only under certain circumstances
According to a 2015 Pew survey, 61% of U.S. married adults say a satisfying sexual relationship is “very important” to a successful marriage.
“Most people do attribute significant meaning to sex and derive relational value from it: feelings of love, attractiveness, eroticism, desire and an expression of passion that you do not get to access with others,” said Irene Fehr, a sex and intimacy coach outside of Denver. “People enter romantic relationships because they want to be able to share sexual desire, attraction, passion and connection together — this is what differentiates a romantic relationship from a friendship.”
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But not everyone in a sexless marriage is miserable and doomed for divorce.
“A marriage can last long term without sex if both people are not bothered by the lack of sex in their lives,” said sex therapist Celeste Hirschman, co-author of “Making Love Real: The Intelligent Couple’s Guide to Lasting Intimacy and Passion.” “For some people, sex is not a particularly high priority. For others, it is quite high, just like any…
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