In a culture of toxic positivity, it can feel particularly bad when you wake up and aren’t feeling totally happy. This is likely exacerbated when you open up your Instagram or Facebook feeds only to see smiling friends on vacation or at their wedding.
It’s easy to feel like you just should be happy, but experts say it is much bigger than that ― and there are probably some behaviors and beliefs that keep you from feeling your best.
Below, mental health professionals share the thought patterns, limiting behaviors and beliefs that affect your happiness and fulfillment most, plus their best advice for combating the negativity.
Shame, Guilt And Worry
“I think shame, guilt and worry are the most common disruptors of happiness, just in what I see in working with people,” said Tamika Lewis, the clinical director and founder of WOC Therapy in California.
When you’re experiencing one of these feelings, you’re holding yourself hostage to past life experiences or worrying about the future, she said. “So we’re not in the present moment, and that really disrupts … that contentment and joy.”
Practicing self-compassion is one way to combat these feelings, Lewis noted. She said it’s also important to have grace for yourself and practice mindfulness so you stay in the present moment.
Additionally, Lewis said she talks a lot about the Hawaiian practice of ho’oponopono with her clients.
“It’s four phrases, simply saying, ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you,’” she explained. Lewis encourages folks to close their eyes and recite this mantra four times.
“They really hit all these areas; the guilt, the shame, all of that. And then the love as a reminder of self-love, and sometimes it could help too to even do this in the mirror as you’re looking at yourself,” Lewis explained.
She said gratitude is another way to help combat feelings of shame, guilt and worry.
“I know it’s kind of cliché, but I think if we can keep our focus on the…
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