Dear Kiki: I have a lot of connections in a pretty big community of friends and acquaintances. They come from a variety of backgrounds, including other Asian Americans like myself. However, I still struggle to connect with others and often feel like I don’t belong to any group. How do I find my connections and community?”
– Finding community
Quality of connections over quantity
When it comes to community, quality matters more than quantity.
A diverse network is a great place to start, but the few quality relationships you forge will make you feel more included and valued.
Even if you know lots of people, genuine connections are cultivated through meaningful one-on-one interactions that go beyond small talk.
These bonds require time and effort to cultivate, as well as an alignment in values.
In order to increase your sense of belonging, you need to figure out what your needs are and find a group that will embrace and support you.
Then, you can begin to dedicate your energy towards relationships that will make you feel more fulfilled.
Before we seek out the right community, we need to first look inwards.
Connection with yourself
It might seem counterintuitive to seek solitude when you feel alone, but a strong sense of self identity leads to better and more rewarding interactions with others.
Who we are can change over time, so it is important to make time to connect – and reconnect with yourself.
Define your values and interests, as well as what excites you.
Look ahead to see where you’d like to be and what you would like to achieve. Check in with yourself to see if you are living your life accordingly.
When we are part of large groups, it is easy to lose ourselves in order to fit in.
Many Asian cultures, especially Eastern Asian, tend to be more collectivist and value harmony and conformity over individuality. In the process of adapting and adjusting to others, we lose part of our self identity.
Therefore, we must break the cycle…
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